just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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