i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
