maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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