You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
