everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
