The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
