The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize