also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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