we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
