Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
PANTIES FOUND
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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