Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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