Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
