dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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