Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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