i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
