We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
