dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
