The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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