i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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