Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
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you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
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Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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