she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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