i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
