next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
