4 words: hood of his car
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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