I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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