And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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