So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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