No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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