i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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