Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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