It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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