1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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