dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
tell me about the fingering
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
