Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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