butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
