Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
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The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
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I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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