Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
