I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
