he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
