really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it