Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
