Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

Its about making memories worth repressing

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska

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(813): View more from Florida

I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(330): View more from Ohio

he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?

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(801): View more from Utah

stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation

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(804): View more from Virginia

My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.

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(916): View more from California

Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!

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