I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...