Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?

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  (513): The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU? http://tfl.nu/gpmz
  Replies (8) Good night (644) Bad night (3401)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.

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  (585): Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven. http://tfl.nu/xlkq
  Replies (9) Good night (6465) Bad night (1162)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her

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  (954): had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her http://tfl.nu/teql
  Replies (15) Good night (1155) Bad night (5587)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.

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  (401): I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard. http://tfl.nu/cjsq
  Replies (9) Good night (2869) Bad night (945)
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  (707): View more from California

  She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.

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  (707): She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love. http://tfl.nu/is4u
  Replies (17) Good night (4800) Bad night (1060)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.

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  (206): Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night. http://tfl.nu/k94l
  Replies (7) Good night (1818) Bad night (734)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.

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  (734): In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER. http://tfl.nu/mukx
  Replies (10) Good night (2417) Bad night (861)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?

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  (+61): Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here? http://tfl.nu/9sbn
  Replies (2) Good night (1193) Bad night (500)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.

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  (708): I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me. http://tfl.nu/lj2n
  Replies (3) Good night (1311) Bad night (562)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  You went home with a man in a loincloth

  (914): View more from New York

  I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???

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  (952): You went home with a man in a loincloth (914): I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween??? http://tfl.nu/0bv2
  Replies (2) Good night (1399) Bad night (477)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON

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  (610): BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON http://tfl.nu/ic7e
  Replies (17) Good night (1672) Bad night (490)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..

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  (315): I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children.. http://tfl.nu/lakp
  Replies (3) Good night (941) Bad night (417)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?

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  (732): is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex? http://tfl.nu/6ehb
  Replies (10) Good night (735) Bad night (388)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.

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  (231): I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza. http://tfl.nu/hoj4
  Replies (1) Good night (585) Bad night (231)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?

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  (660): Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff? http://tfl.nu/flsb
  Replies (1) Good night (554) Bad night (232)

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