Its about making memories worth repressing
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!