He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
