I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
