I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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