I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
