New low: just hacked my moms facebook
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
