Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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