Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
