Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
