Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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