we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
