you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
