You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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