And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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