Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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