I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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