I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
