hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
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I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
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My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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