Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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