you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
