I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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