i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
