Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
i believe in u and ur pee
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
