Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
