she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
