she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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