nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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