I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
