Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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